Aware

What an adventure it has been. Months of travel and meeting a vast array of individuals, and I am seeping into the desire as a voyager of this world, but a cartographer of areas of the heart and that which goes beyond what is simply seen with one’s eyes. I don’t want to chart simply travels of where this fragile, maladroit container of a body is placed within the scape of this physical world; I am “here” and you are “there”… No, I want to seek the depths of something more. I grow weary from the numbed desire of this society to see something mass-produced and quickly-imitated instead of seeing value in the carefully-crafted. It has become such the ‘norm’ to create a mimicked feeling quickly, that value becomes more placed in the feelings one has as an immediate reaction to something… rather than for the creation itself. It makes sense, then, how our very definitions of what is created, what is explored, and even what is loved can be drastically altered to please an empty, fleeting desire, rather than a lasting expression that carries real substance. I want to be a willing vessel, placing value in what I carry; my cargo, rather than a woebegone ship, aimlessly sailing along, pillaging to try and fill its every cobwebbed corner, and living only by the ‘someday’ prospect destination of treasure. I have learned more and more through these travels that our awareness is, perhaps, the most limited. One can be blissfully unaware of even our own structure; our limbs, our phalanges, our every composed piece… unless someone touches that part of our being; and our brains suddenly transcribe the information: “Yes, what I am feeling is this extension of who I am… this person is touching my head… and I am suddenly very aware I have one.” Perhaps what is more important than a destination, or even a charting of where I am in relation to you within this vast physical space, is where and how that awareness rests. I want more than a pin in a map, a photograph or two of an adventure to prove it happened, something more than a handshake… those things that only, limitedly, acknowledge that I am “here” and you are “there” within this space. I want awareness of it all beyond my limited, physical container; I don’t want to feel just to feel something. I want my interactions with this world, all the beautiful pieces it contains, what is beyond it… what is created, what is explored, and what is loved…and the Creator of it all, to reach out and touch my soul… and make me suddenly very aware I have one.

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