Testing… Testing…

Hello everyone who is reading my blog. For those of you who don’t know, my name is Zina Nicole (Dembitsky) Lahr. I am from a small town with no stop lights called Ouray, which is located in Colorado, and is often referred to as the “Switzerland of America.” It is a tiny town, structured much like a Pac-Man game… in the middle of a bowl of mountains.

A Map of Ouray

A Game of Pacman

 

I live here with my loving mother and grandmother, three generations under the same roof.  It is rather beautiful… and I live here for several reasons. One, is that it is… in fact, beautiful. Two, is because I promised my grandmother (who is one of my best friends in the whole world) I would not leave her side for as long as I could. AND Three… three is because I somewhat enjoy the quirkiness of this area… which is one of the reasons I have started this blog.

I am an odd person, but the people of this town… and many who know me… accept this as normal. Thus, the name of my blog… see how this is all coming together? Good stuff, right? 😉 Anyway, I wear goggles, have really long hair, and I have my own style. I enjoy building robots, any kind of art, juggling devil sticks, learning new things, finding adventure in the mundane… and keeping a general child-like outlook on life. I am an art student, majoring in Media Arts and Animation… and I am attending college online at The Art Institute of Pittsburgh… just so I can stay in Ouray and/or travel freely.

Me in Post-Apocolyptic Zombie Hunter attire... in Ouray

With my story comes many heartbreaks… and a complete change in character and perspective. Such change is resulting from the rough year of 2010. Around the start of 2010, I lost my best friend Rais Clarin… who was my superhero. I consider his family to be mine now… and love the Clarins very much. Rais and I both loved comic books and movies… and would always talk about them together. After his sudden and unexpected parting, I saw his room and saw a Superman comic, which discussed the classic concept of “The Man Of Steel” by saying that he was invincible; nothing could stop him… except for kryptonite. I then realized that Rais was what he loved… he was a superhero. He was my hero. He was invincible in that he did not let anything define him, and that he lived to serve and to love others. He had superpowers of dancing like Michael Jackson… able to produce Monopoly money out of thin air… able to bowl like Fred Flinstone… and able to make the world better place by just being himself. His only kryptonite was that his heart just couldn’t hold all the love that he had. It just couldn’t contain all of it in such a limited space. He now does not need to worry about that ever again. He is still here… just not where we used to see him. I see pieces of him in his loving family… who shared their home with me on a difficult night after his parting. Knowing them has been one of my greatest accomplishments… besides being bestowed the title by Rais as one of his “best friends.”

Rais

There were many more heartbreaks in the span of the next few months… but… perhaps the hardest was the loss of my beloved sister Brie Gomez in a tragic car accident at the close of the year. Brie was my big sister, my rock, my wisdom in trying times. We were different in so many ways, but we ended up celebrating that difference in our long conversations. I loved my sister very much. She was an excellent mother…. and a wonderful writer/blogger… which is perhaps another reason for me starting my own blog.  Brie was always giving me sisterly advice that I would sometimes pretend not to adhere to… but, in reality… I actually took her advice quite a bit… and I was very concerned about what she thought of me. I saw her as the ultimate. She was beautiful, intelligent, and had a very giving heart. Brie was certainly all about life. She gave life to her two girls: Mali and Eleri. She celebrated the lives of her family, her husband Eric, and especially her children. She counciled the emotionally hurt, providing them with new lives, all of her life. Then, even after her life on this earth ended, she provided life physically to those in need with the donation of her organs… And the delivery of her son Curran Blaec. She loved life and continues to touch others lives even now. She had these golden eyes that were so unique… And I can’t help but think, by looking through them, she saw nothing but gold in everyone.

Brie with Eleri and Mali

When she was killed, as covered on national news, she was seven months pregnant with her son Curran Blaec. Curran survived, but is currently in ICU in Amarillo, TX (where my sister resided). You can view updates and donate money to Curran (at Happy State Bank) here: http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/currangomez/journal

Curran Blaec

 

I have another sister Kara and two brothers: Stosch and Goss on my father’s side… and Brandon (brother to Brie) on my mother’s side. My brother Brandon recently married Liza KC (now White)… and I am so very thankful to have her as my sister as well!

 

Through this recent tragedy, I have undergone a change that even I find difficult to comprehend. I believe in God, but I do not find myself highly religious… it is more of a relationship of sorts. Regardless, I feel something happening within me. I hope this blog can be a place to filter my new self… to better understand my surroundings… and to delve into the thought processes I have never discussed with anyone on account of my considering them too ‘different’ or too ‘odd.’ No, this is a celebration of who I really am, who I am becoming, and the people that are shaping such an existence. Among those people is one who is so new to this world: Curran… who I plan to write a note or two… perhaps devote artistic expression towards… whenever I can.

Me with Curran

This is a place where I will be writing, expressing my thoughts, presenting my art, and celebrating the life I have been given. Thank you for reading… and I hope you can read more soon.

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